Johannesburg South's HOTTEST Apartments: Median Prices REVEALED!
Johannesburg South's HOTTEST Apartments: A Whirlwind Tour (and My Honest Take)
Alright, folks, strap in! Because we're diving headfirst into the glamorous (and sometimes gritty) world of Johannesburg South's premiere apartments. I've spent a week crisscrossing the city, sniffing out the best (and worst) places, and now, I'm here to spill the tea. Prepare for some hot takes, a few rambling tangents, and the brutal truth behind those perfectly filtered Instagram photos. Let's go!
SEO & Metadata (Because, you know, gotta play the game):
- Title: Johannesburg South Apartments: Median Prices REVEALED! Hot Spots & Honest Review
- Keywords: Johannesburg South apartments, rental apartments, South Africa, apartment reviews, luxury apartments, affordable apartments, amenities, accessibility, pool, gym, restaurants, Wi-Fi, Johannesburg real estate
- Description: Uncover the hottest apartment options in Johannesburg South! This review unveils median prices, dives into amenities (like pools, gyms, and Wi-Fi), and shares honest opinions on everything from accessibility to dining. Find your perfect Johannesburg South apartment!
- Meta Tags :
- Keywords: Apartments, Johannesburg, South Africa, Real estate, Rental, Review
- Description: Find Johannesburg South Apartment recommendations.
- Author: [Your Name]
- Robots: index, follow
The Big Picture and Initial Reactions:
Okay, first things first: Johannesburg South is a mixed bag. Beautiful pockets of luxury rub shoulders with areas that…well, let's just say they have character. Finding an apartment that's both stunning and practical is the real challenge. I'm talking about stuff that's not just pretty on the outside; it actually works for real life. Prices? Let's just say range is an understatement – from shockingly affordable to "whoa, I need a second mortgage" territory.
Accessibility (Or Lack Thereof, Ugh):
This is where things get a little… frustrating. Finding truly accessible apartments in Jo'burg is harder than finding a decent parking spot on a Saturday morning. 😠 Wheelchair access? Often a "maybe, if you call us and we'll see" situation. Elevators? Not always a given, especially in the older buildings. [Rant incoming] I get it, retro charm and all that, but come on! In this day and age, accessibility should be non-negotiable. It's about basic human dignity! I saw one place that claimed to be accessible, but the "ramp" was basically a death trap… I'm not even kidding. That was so not cool. Score: 2/5 (Needs MAJOR improvement)
On-site Dining & Lounging: Let's Eat! (And Relax… or try to)
This is where things get tempting (and where my waistline suffered a bit).
- Restaurants: Variety is the spice of life, right? Some places boasted Michelin-star-worthy dining (or at least, aspired to), while others… well, let's just say the "international cuisine" consisted mostly of reheated pre-made dishes. I'm very fond of places serving, Asian Cuisine, and I did find some locations serving that and I was happy when I did.
- Poolside Bars: Ah, the siren song of the pool. Sipping a cocktail while the sun kisses your skin… Sounds idyllic, except when the bar is perpetually understaffed, and you're waiting 20 minutes for a lukewarm margarita. Still, can't complain too much and this is a plus.
- Coffee shop, and Coffee/tea in restaurant: This is a must, and most places delivered. The coffee culture is pretty strong in Joburg.
- Other Options: I noticed that a lot of places featured a Breakfast [buffet] and Restaurant [A la carte], where the menu may be diverse or the food and service may not be up to some people's standards. I do appreciate the option though. Score: 3.5/5 (Varies wildly. The good is good, the bad… well, eat before you go.)
Amenities: The Good, the Meh, and the Totally Unnecessary:
This is where apartments try to woo you with the promise of luxurious living. Let's break it down:
- Fitness Center / Gym: Yay! A place to work off all the cocktails and buffet breakfasts. Most gyms were decent, but the quality of the equipment varied wildly. One place had a treadmill that looked like it hadn't been serviced since the dinosaurs roamed the earth.
- Pool & Sauna & Spa: Oh Yes! This is my favorite. The Pools with view were a major selling point. But it's the Spa/sauna that really makes it, a place to unwind after a long day of exploring.
- Things to do, ways to relax: The foot bath, massage, and Body scrub, were a treat and welcomed.
- The Rest: Things like "Babysitting service" and "Gift/souvenir shop" seemed kind of meh. I'm not opposed, but not a must-have for me. Score: 4/5 (The pools and spas are the stars!)
Cleanliness & Safety: Is It Safe to Breathe? (And Sleep?):
This is a big one. Anti-viral cleaning products and Daily disinfection in common areas became more than a buzzword in the wake of Covid-19. I am grateful for those. I was glad of Doctor/nurse on call and hand sanitizer as well.
- Rooms sanitized between stays: Check. Mostly. (I did find a stray sock in one place… ew.)
- CCTV, Security: Solid. Most places had good security, but a few felt a little… exposed. Score: 4/5 (Feeling relatively safe, which is a good thing!)
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: The Quest for Sustenance:
Beyond the on-site restaurants, what else is available?
- Room service [24-hour]: Essential! Especially after a long day of apartment hunting.
- Snack Bar: Perfect for midnight cravings.
- Breakfast: Breakfast [buffet], Breakfast service, Breakfast takeaway service, Asian breakfast, Western breakfast -- variety is key. Score: 4/5 (Good options, especially with 24-hour room service.)
Services & Conveniences: The Bells and Whistles
- Concierge, Daily housekeeping, Laundry service: These are non-negotiables for me. Love having someone take care of the details!
- Wi-Fi: Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! is the bare minimum. Some places had lightning-fast internet, others… well, let's just say I'm writing this review from a coffee shop because the Wi-Fi in my [Hotel Room] Room was slower than a tortoise.
- Facilities for disabled guests: See above. This needs HUGE improvement.
- Other stuff: Cash withdrawal, currency exchange, dry cleaning, elevator, car park [on-site], and Meeting/banquet facilities are all nice to have. Score: 3.5/5 (Really depends on the specific apartment. Some are great, others are… lacking.)
For the Kids (Or, "Keeping the Little Terrorists…uh…Occupied"):
- Babysitting service, Family/child friendly, Kids facilities, Kids meal: Some places were clearly geared towards families, with slides, play areas, and kids' menus. Others… not so much. Score: 3/5 (If you're traveling with kids, do your research!)
Getting Around (Because You Can't Just Teleport):
- Airport transfer, Car park [free of charge], Taxi service: This is essential. I'm not a car person. Taxis are a must, but the free parking and car park is a plus. Score: 4.5/5 (Pretty easy to get around.)
Available in All Rooms (The Essentials - or are they?):
- Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Bathrobes, Bath, Blackout curtains, Coffee/tea maker, Hair dryer, In-room safe box, Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities, Mini bar, Non-smoking, Private bathroom, Refrigerator, Satellite/cable channels, Shower, Smoke detector, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Wake-up service, Wi-Fi [free]: Almost all places nailed the basics. These are the must-haves, and I was happy to see them.
- Additional toilet, Slippers, Sofa: Nice bonuses.
- Extra long bed, Laptop workspace, Reading light, Socket near the bed: Small details that make a big difference. Score: 5/5 (Standard, but very important!)
The Verdict (Drumroll, Please):
Johannesburg South apartment hunting is a mixed bag. You'll find stunning apartments, budget-friendly gems, and places that make you question what you are doing with your life! The median prices? That's honestly the hardest part to pin down. Demand varies
Lincoln's BEST Mall Area Hotel: Comfort Suites Luxury Awaits!
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because this ain't your grandma's meticulously planned itinerary. This is… me in Johannesburg, and honey, it's gonna be a wild ride. Specifically, it's all about exploring around The Median Apartments – because I'm not exactly the jet-setting type who needs to conquer the whole country in a week. Give yourself some space to breathe, because I'm gonna need it.
Day 1: Arrival & Existential Dread (and Pizza)
1:00 PM: Land at OR Tambo International Airport. Honestly? Planes make me all clammy. The baggage carousel is the worst – a slow-motion, existential dread simulator. Will my suitcase ever appear? (Spoiler alert: it did. Thankfully. My floral pantsuit was not going to pack itself.) Getting a taxi? A dance of frantic hand gestures and deciphering thick accents. Eventually made it to The Median apartments. Gorgeous from the outside, thank god.
2:30 PM: Check-in. The lobby is slick modern, but the reception guy is a bit… absent. Takes a solid fifteen minutes to figure out my booking. Sigh. My apartment itself? Alright, not bad. The view is kinda "meh", though – mostly rooftops. Immediately throw myself on the bed. So tired. So much more tired than I initially thought I would be.
4:00 PM: Okay, gotta rally. Gotta be a tourist with something to be proud of later. After a shower (bliss), I decide to be bold and venture out. First things first: food. Pizza. I'm a creature of habit. A quick Google search reveals a place called "Pizzeria" (original, I know) that supposedly delivers. Worth a shot.
5:30 PM: Pizza arrives! It's… edible. The crust is a bit… cardboardy. But the cheese is gooey, which is the most important thing. While devouring it (because shame is a forgotten word when faced with pizza), I sit at the window watching life go by. The street is a bustling mess of cars, people, and the occasional stray dog. Feeling a weird mix of exhilaration and utter loneliness. That pizza really brought me up, though.
7:00 PM: Collapse on the bed again. Scrolling through Instagram, feeling a pang of envy for everyone else's glamorous lives. Close phone. Realize I haven't brushed my teeth.
8:00 PM: Brush teeth. Realize I haven't even started unpacking. Decide unpacking can wait until tomorrow. Watch some garbage TV. South African reality shows? Fascinatingly bizarre.
9:30 PM: Bedtime. Hoping to actually sleep this time.
Day 2: Markets, Memories, and Minor Mayhem
8:00 AM: Wake up. Actually feel pretty good! Maybe the pizza worked some kind of magic.
9:00 AM: Breakfast. The Median doesn't exactly offer a buffet breakfast, so I wander around and grab some coffee and a pastry at that tiny café near the corner. Deliciously bland, but gets the job done.
10:00 AM: I decide to be brave and visit the Maboneng Precinct. I've heard it's all the rage. Taking a taxi. The driver is a chatty, lovely man who tells me all about his grandchildren. Made me feel kinda homesick for my own. The traffic, though, is a beast. Feels like we're stuck in first gear forever. But, eventually get there.
11:00 AM: Maboneng. A sensory overload! Street art everywhere (some good, some… questionable.) The energy is electric. The market is a riot of colour and smells. I buy a ridiculously overpriced (but beautiful) scarf. I wander into a small art gallery. One painting – a huge, abstract landscape – grabs me. I'm staring at it for what feels like an hour, completely lost in it. Then, a gallery assistant (super pretentious, naturally) comes over and tries to explain the "deeper meaning" (which I don't care about). I escape to a café as fast as possible.
1:00 PM: Lunch. A fancy burger place. The burger is great, but the music is too loud. And the people are too cool. Feeling slightly inadequate. I decide to embrace my inner tourist and take some pictures of the "cool" street art. (Hope no one sees me).
2:30 PM: Explore a little more of the area. Wandering through various shops-- so many! I'm getting overwhelmed, yet wanting more.
4:00 PM: Back to the Median. Need to rest. Brain is fried from all the stimulation!
6:00 PM: I try to order takeout again. Disaster. No one delivers to my apartment. Decide to cook. (I'm a terrible cook, you see).
7:00 PM: Attempt at cooking ends in minor kitchen mayhem. Burned some garlic. Set off the smoke alarm. (Mortified). End up eating toast with peanut butter for dinner. (My cooking skills are a true work in progress).
8:30 PM: Watch a movie (badly acted, perfectly distracting). Dream of a home-cooked meal.
9:30 PM: Bed. Tired, but content. Even a tiny bit hopeful.
**Day 3: *Museums, Misunderstandings, and My Favorite Day*
9:00 AM: Breakfast. Decide to grab something nearby this time and find a small cafe with a super friendly owner!
10:00 AM: Visiting the Apartheid Museum. I know this is a heavy one, but I want to face it head-on. My expectations are low-- but the impact hits HARD. It's emotionally intense, overwhelming, and a total gut-punch. The stories are raw, the exhibits are powerful, and the history is… well, it's the truth. And it's important. I could've easily spent an entire day there, but by early afternoon, my head and heart feel full of information. I just had to take a walk-- and a deep breath.
1:00 PM: Lunch. I'm too emotionally exhausted to deal with a fancy restaurant. I find a small cafe nearby and order a simple sandwich. I try to process what I've seen. Tears are shed, I won't deny it. (Happens to me every time I visit a museum).
2:00 PM: I decide to have a little fun, despite the sadness. I am going to Constitution Hill.
3:00 PM: Take a taxi to Constitution Hill, where the Women's Gaol is-- I get a guided tour. The stories are so compelling, the information so vivid and well-presented. I'm fascinated. I got myself a little souvenir to carry.
6:00 PM: Back in the Apartment.
7:00 PM: I go and get takeout because I don't trust myself to cook and it's been a long day.
8:00 PM: I sit on the balcony. It's actually a beautiful night, with a clear sky and a slight breeze. I think about the things I've seen, the things I've learned.
9:00 PM: I go to bed. This was my favorite day of the trip and I know I will remember it forever.
Day 4: Final Moments & Farewell
9:00 AM: Wake up to an alarm. Sadness, but here we go.
10:00 AM: Wander to the shops. Find all the souvenirs.
1:00 PM: Find Lunch.
2:00 PM: Take a look around the parks near the Median, before packing.
4:00 PM: Pack. Realize I've accumulated a mountain of stuff. (That scarf, those souvenirs… oh, the humanity). It doesn't fit in my suitcase. Panic ensues.
5:00 PM: Resort to sitting on the suitcase and praying it zips. It doesn't. I end up having to sit on it, using all my strength. Finally, with a struggle, it closes. I can barely lift it.
6:00 PM: Final apartment inspection. Everything is in order. Check out. Leave a small tip for the nice cleaning lady because I feel bad for the mess I, probably, left.
7:00 PM: Taxi to the airport. The driver is a different driver. He's quiet. I zone out, replaying the trip
Johannesburg South's Apartment Scene: Where Do You EVEN Start?! (And What Will It COST?!)
Okay, so you're thinking of moving to Jozi South? Smart move! It's buzzing, it's got character... and finding a decent apartment can feel like you're wading through a swamp of potential scams and tiny, overpriced shoe boxes. Don’t worry, I’ve been there, done that, and nearly lost my deposit (twice!). Let's dive into this mess, shall we?
1. Seriously, What IS "Johannesburg South" Anyway? It's HUGE!
Ugh, right? It's like, a whole region. We're talking places like Alberton, Germiston, Mondeor, and even parts closer to the city center. The vibe varies massively depending on where you look. Alberton? More suburban, family-friendly. Germiston? A bit grittier, more affordable (often). Mondeor? Up-and-coming, a bit of a hipster haven, maybe? It's all…a lot. My friend, Sarah, thought she found THE perfect place in Germiston, right? "Charming!" she kept saying. Turns out "charming" meant "close to the train tracks AND a mechanic's shop that tests revving engines at 6 am." Poor Sarah.
2. Okay, Okay, Prices. What's the REAL Deal? Give it to me Straight, No Sugarcoating!
Alright, buckle up. We're talking median prices, so remember, this is just a guideline. You'll find stuff MUCH cheaper, and then you'll find stuff that costs more than my entire salary (seriously, some of these places are insane). Roughly speaking (and this is as of, like, yesterday, because prices change faster than my mood swings):
- Studio Apartments (if you can find them...): R4,500 - R7,500. Expect tiny. And probably without a balcony. I lived in one of these for a year once. Let's just say, I learned a *lot* about my own tolerance for claustrophobia.
- 1-Bedroom Apartments: R6,000 - R9,500. More common. Hopefully, you can swing a separate bedroom. Finally!
- 2-Bedroom Apartments: R8,000 - R14,000+. This is where prices start to get…interesting. Location really matters here. That place in Bassonia with the amazing view? Yeah, you’re paying a premium for that.
- 3-Bedroom Apartments (and larger): Whoa! You're probably looking at R12,000++ and up. Luxury living, maybe? I don't know, I haven't seen one up close in years! They probably have a gym and a pool I'll never use.
Important Caveat: These are MEDIANS. Not the be-all and end-all. And remember, these don't include things like admin fees (groan), deposits (double groan), and sometimes, the dreaded "utilities not included." READ. THE. FINE. PRINT. Always. Seriously. Don't be like me.
3. Where's HOT Right Now? Where are the "Trendy" Apartments? (aka, Where Do I Want to Be SEEN?)
Okay, look, "trendy" is subjective, right? Here's my take, based on…well, a lot of scrolling through property websites and eavesdropping on conversations in coffee shops:
- Mondeor/Glenvista: Hipster-ish. Lots of new developments. Expect to pay a bit more, but you might get some decent amenities. And access to really good coffee.
- Bassonia: Views. VIEWS. (And probably a hefty price tag). Also, pretty safe, which is a definite plus.
- Winchester Hills: Family feel. Good security. A bit further out.
- Alberton: Still a great option. More established, generally offers value for money.
My friend, David, ended up in Winchester Hills. Seriously NOT his vibe (too many kids, not enough… well, cool things), but the security was a lifesaver when his car was almost broken into in... well, let's just say a different "up-and-coming" area. So, priorities, people!
4. What about Safety? Is It a War Zone?!
Okay, let’s be real. Johannesburg has its issues. Security is a *major* consideration.
- Gated complexes are your friend. Seriously. Prioritize them.
- Look at the security features. Cameras? Electric fences? Armed response? The more, the better.
- Visit the area at different times of day. Get a feel for it.
I was once shown an amazing apartment by a guy with a dodgy mustache. "Very safe!" he'd chirped. *Then* I saw the broken security gate and the bars on the windows that looked like they'd been installed in 1970. Needless to say, I ran. Trust your gut. And the lack of a decent security system should set off all your alarm bells.
5. Hidden Costs? Tell Me the TRUTH!
The devil is in the details! Here's what often stings:
- Admin Fees: Ugh. They add up.
- Deposits: Usually one or two months' rent. Make sure you understand the terms. (And that you'll actually get it back!)
- Utilities: Water, electricity, refuse removal… they’re *usually* extra. Ask! Seriously, ask twenty times. I once moved into an apartment and nearly choked when I got the first electricity bill. It was higher than my rent!
- Levies: If you're renting in a complex, these are a MUST. Check what they cover.
- Parking: Is it included? What about visitors? Is there secure parking?
- Internet/TV: Is the complex wired? Or will you have to navigate the nightmare of getting your own connection?
I can't stress this enough: READ THE LEASE! Get a lawyer to look over it if you're feeling unsure. It's worth the investment. Trust me.
6. What If I Have a Pet? (My Furry Baby is Important!)
Pet-friendly apartments are a precious commodity.
- Size Matters: The smaller the apartment, the less likely a landlord will say yes.
- Breed restrictions ARE a thing. Be prepared for the heartbreak.
- Extra Deposit: Be prepared.
- Find a rental agency with pet-friendly listings. Popular Hotel Find
